Eight Dates: Essential Conversations For A Lifetime Of Love

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It’s important for couples to share their dreams with each other. Keeping your dreams from your partner leads to bitterness, resentment, loss of passion and desire, and distance. Continue by sharing three ways your partners contribute to the relationship (monetary or otherwise) that you really appreciate We we did:The book suggested meeting somewhere with a beautiful, aspirational view. We went to Scott’s office building over the weekend and took the elevator to the 37th floor. Looking out over the Bay Bridge, we answered questions about our dreams. I used to operate the same way. But my perspective on this changed a few years ago when I interviewed several divorce lawyers about the common reasons couples get divorced, aside from infidelity or money issues.

First the run of the motor. Then pop. Pause. Pop. Pause. Pop. Pop. Pop. In between a steady stream of pops, I could just barely make out the sound of his voice on a phone call. Relationships are not always easy, but leading researcher Dr. Gottman has developed a guideline to bring you and your partner closer together. These eight dates each center on a theme, and they inspire life-changing conversations to help strengthen your bond with your partner. Mein Hauptkritikpunkt: Es werden in dem Buch sehr viele Studien erwähnt, die aber absolut gar nicht zitiert werden??? Weder die Titel der Studien, noch die Autoren, oftmals nichtmal das Erscheinungsjahr. Einmal wurde eine Studie von 1996 erwähnt, mit dem Zusatz „die Studie wurde zwar noch nicht veröffentlicht, aber…“. Lol? Es gibt am Ende des Buches einen Anhang mit einigen Quellen, aber das ist definitiv nur ein Bruchteil (er enthält nämlich nur Quellen für 4 der 8 Gespräche). Was ist das bitte für eine Art, ein wissenschaftliches Buch zu schreiben?The importance of playing and adventuring together and the role of phenylethylamine (PEA) in creating a natural high Whether you think your relationship is far from perfect or the most secure partnership in the world, you can still engage in these life-changing conversations. What we learned:The exercise led to a great insight about how we approach keeping the house clean. I tend to let the house turn into a disaster zone over several days, and then clean up all at once, during a podcast-fueled spree. Scott explained that when I let the house get messy, he feels like I’m saying that I think my time is more valuable than his. I understood his perspective and committed to taking the time to tidy up daily, so that Scott doesn’t have to forge a path to the bathroom through piles of shoes and books. John Gottman is basically a love guru. He has studied thousands of relationships, and after several decades of clinical observation and study, he can predict with 97% accuracy if a couple will stay together or divorce.

The book makes a couple of meta-points. First, you should go on a date every week. It’s not about the movie or the dinner you share, it’s about just having protected time away from screens in which you talk to each other. You probably have a weekly 1:1 at work, this is at least more important than those. Second, you should treat your partner primarily with curiosity throughout the course of your life. The mindset is: “the person who woke up today is not the same person who went to bed the night before.”In short, I’d recommend this book to any couple looking to take their relationship to the next level. Five enthusiastic stars! Seriously, why not go on these dates? Start thinking about some of the themes and “Before the date” questions and comment below. So, as much as “small words, small gestures, and small acts” matter in a relationship, the plain and simple truth is that relationships are made of date nights. If you do not set aside time once a week to have a planned date night – or date afternoon or morning – with your loved one, then you’re setting yourself for a life of discontent and frustration.