What Women Want: Conversations on Desire, Power, Love and Growth

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In any domain, you have to go through the valley of genuinely low confidence before you can reach the peak of genuinely high confidence. It’s important to note that the author emphasizes that this book was intended to seduce the top 10% of women. Not the bottom 90% and it seems that’s were you got a lot of information mixed up trying to connect what you think you know to digesting a new way of thinking.

The point is," writes Underhill, "while men were busy doing other things, women were becoming a major social, cultural, and economic force." Wir Frauen sind kein unergründliches Mysterium, genauso wenig wie unsere Wünsche und Bedürfnisse. Aber unser Begehren ist komplex.“ Romantic proof: show and share your feelings, respect her having greater emotional needs than you do, be respectful, caring, compassionate, cuddle

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Honestly, the author could have done a better service to the readers if he had actually read some science before talking about science (something nobody forced him to talk about it and he could have just based his book on his personal experience). I found this fascinating. I really appreciated that the finished articles were approved by the women themselves, and that felt genuine and authentic to me. I couldn't help but become deeply invested in each woman and her circumstances because of the empathy that Chung fosters. She also brings her own want to the table. and the reader can't help but relate, because in lots of ways these are shared experiences. Women talking about the consequences of male behavior is now the subject of two novels: Topics of Conversation, Miranda Popkey’s widely praised debut, and Women Talking, by feted Canadian author Miriam Toews. Although the two novels are set in vastly different social worlds—Popkey focuses on white, college-educated American women; Toews writes about the illiterate female members of a conservative Mennonite colony in Bolivia—they are united by their interest in understanding the ways women respond to their subordination. Both works use private conversations between women who deal with men in intimate settings to examine enduring, if only more recently visible, feminist concerns: What do women want, and how can they get it? It's not their responsibility to reject you in the way that would be least costly to you; it's your responsibility to take the hint as best you can and go away. I could go on and on about how you used your rationalizations and excuses to not open your mind to a new way of thinking to get results, but this country is a democracy. You have a right to disagree.

Most of you guys are solid dudes. You’re just suffering for the actions of the highly nonrandom sample of guys who hit on every woman in sight. That’s why it’s so important to understand the world from a woman’s perspective...Cops spend 90 percent of their time dealing with the scummiest 5 percent of humanity. The ones who’ve been around a while often develop a cynical, negative, and fatalistic view of humans, based on the totality of their bitter experiences. Likewise, women spend a big proportion of their time in the mating market avoiding the small percentage of guys who are the most intrusive, obnoxious, or insane." Despite the unthinkable acts that men have committed, Women Talking refuses to demonize even the perpetrators. When Salome declares that men prevent women from achieving freedom and safety, another female member of the colony, Mejal, corrects her: “But not all men.” Ona offers a reconciling alternative: “Perhaps not men, per se, but a pernicious ideology that has been allowed to take hold of men’s hearts and minds.” Men, too, are casualties of the patriarchy, their actions warped by their circumstances. Here, Toews offers another valuable lesson, one that the fury ignited by the horrors of #MeToo has understandably made difficult to remember: criminals, even those who commit the most heinous acts, are made not born. Today, this is a radical vision.What makes this book a bit different from most of them is that, the way it is written is a bit more like a novel, and the counter transference from therapist to patient is often evident, so in the end we get a fused experience of the patient's and therapist's journey together.